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Sex like anything in life has to be learned and what an exciting discovery to behold. After many years of studying and teaching in the field of Tantra I feel there are two major ingredients to the act of "good sex" known in Tantric terminology as "Sacred Union" and that is emotional sex and physical sex.
When we concentrate and focus on the exploration of emotional sex first, we integrate all of the principles of friendship, trust, communication, joy, safety and love into our sacred union, this builds the core foundation of intimacy. There is no greater liberation than allowing ourselves the freedom to surrender to the deepest abyss of the oceans of our emotions from our light to our dark. To feel vulnerable present and safe with our beloved allows our hearts to open and connect deeper into the heart of Sacred Love.
The practice of Tantra teaches us to become the witness, the observer of the play of life and the roles of the masculine/feminine at play. A woman embodied in her heart, her Shakti will know instinctively how to honor and appreciate her lover. For him, her femininity feeds him nourishment and love and becomes an insatiable thirst to let her go. A man embodied in his Shiva essence, the powerful wise and strong yet gentle and aware masculine will understand how to cherish his woman and saturate her with his love, he will know how to touch her, where to touch her, what to say, when to say it and when to walk away. It is only through his Shiva presence that the woman will feel safe, safe to surrender to the power of the flame and passion; she will know in that moment that she represents every woman in the Universe to her beloved.
When Sacred Space is celebrated in this joyous harmonious dance, we experience the union of duality, spirituality through the heart, physical ecstasy through the body and senses and the spirit comes alive fully conscious of the unconscious. This is the merging of emotional and physical sex called "Tantric Sacred Union". As you experience higher stages of orgasm and love, all boundaries will dissolve, allowing you to merge with your higher self and spirit as well as the entire Universe. These states are indescribable.
It is like an endless wave, there is no beginning, no end, a beautiful ocean of eternal bliss, the journey of Tantra.