A Tantric approach to Life Counselling and Relationship Harmony
Established in 2006
Tune into Channel 9's brand new programme "What Women Want" on Saturday the 18th July at 4pm featuring The Sanctuary of Tantra and Women's Sacred Sexuality. Many thanks to Leslie, Lara and Dawn for their participation in the event and for being so patient and brave with the Camera right up close and personal! The interview will be posted on the website and also aired on the Aurora Foxtel Channel (dates to be advised).
Just a reminder that Master Alex Lim will be the Special Guest Speaker at the Meditation evening 22nd July at 7.15pm on Meditation and Spiritual Practices. Please remember to bring your yoga mat, cushion, water, blanket and your smiling face. The cost is $20 per person and will be held at THE FORRESTFIELD HALL, Cnr Hale Road and Anderson Road, Forrestfield. Please advise numbers for attendance. Fruit Platters will be supplied at break time.
Alex Lim was born in Central Java, Indonesia in 1955 of Indonesian Chinese parents. Starting Gymnastics at the age of 9, by 11 he was already into formal classes of Kung-Fu, which introduced him to small parts of Qigong of which he is now a Master. By 14, he was made an assistant instructor and over the years to follow, he became familiar and experimented with numerous other martial arts, including western boxing.
Early exposure to mysticism and spirituality was rekindled in his early thirties, when he rediscovered Yoga (which he continues to practise to this very day alongside Qigong & meditation). His wide interest in health, healing, and spirituality resulted in him formally studying Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine. Other studies include 'Spiritual Protection' under the guidance of "Grandpa" Abdullah, 'Self Knowledge' with Swami Suddhananda, and 'I Liq Chuan' (a variation of Tai Chi) with Grand Master Sam Chin.
Full details are now on the web under RETREATS for the Tantra Expedition to The White Lion Heartland Equinox 22nd March 2010. An incredible journey to Heal Self and the Great Mother (Earth).
It was J M Coetzee who first derived the term? the problem of sex? in hismodern day classic ?Disgrace?. To view sex in the context of a problem isa unique and honest perspective of how many people experience their sexuality.This common experience is very different to how sex is portrayed in the mediawhere it is often simplified into a long procession of exciting passion-filledtryst with boundless possibilities and endless variety. If we are to believewhat we read, if you are not doing at least three times a week then you arepositively missing out. The problem of sex is as varied as the people who exhibit them but thereare certainly common themes which broadly apply to various age groups andlife stages. One theme, on which this article will focus, is the expressionof sexuality for those who are older (mid-life) and who have been partneredfor a long time. People in later life have invariably ?been through the menu? as far as life?sexperiences go, including the highs and low of relationships, careers, traveland of course sex. There is a tendency at this life stage to become stuckor fixated on a particular approach to life that can be both a blessing anda curse: a blessing because it allows people to repeat a successful formulaand a curse because it hinders change. One approach to life that many people have become adept at is problem solvingand strategising. In essence, people see themselves as being ?here? but needto be ?there? so their lives become focused on navigating and facilitatinga smooth passage - or so we hope. The great temptation is to treat the problemof sex in the same way. But the problem of sex is not so amenable to ourgrand schemes and manipulations. Somehow, the terms ?strategy? and ?sex?don?t go that well together in long term relationships. Strategy might workfor a male to entice his new lover into bed, but in older well establishedrelationships, people need to be vulnerable, go deeper and engage with anopen heart and learn to make deep compromises. This is not something we oftenassociate with strategy and clinical problem solving. Another observation is that the barriers to communication are raised in proportionto the age of the relationship. We often wonder why it is so much more difficultto talk about sex as compared to for example, one?s career aspirations. Thisis a curious position to find oneself in, because in reality, sexual fulfilmentis a need just like any other need. Compare these two conversations withyour spouse: ?I?ll leave work early and pick up the kids while you do theshopping? with, ?I?ll arrange for the fur lined hand cuffs while you????. It would be fair to say that only a very small minority of long term relationshipswould experience the second type discourse at all. So just being able totalk about our sexual needs is an important hurdle in dealing with the problemof sex. The previous ideas about problem solving and communication show that in essence,the problem of sex is not a genital problem, but rather a brain problem.Intimately tied to the brain is the experience of our inner world and howwe deal with the sexual emotions and urges within us. Our sexuality can often seem all smoke and mirrors where largely irrationalthoughts rage and subside in accordance with a sexual desire emanating froma deeper source within. As such, our sexuality can involve strong feelingsof emotional ambiguity and mental conflict as our minds try to make senseof this ?thing? within us. This conflict can for example be exhibited inour relationship with our life-long partner whom we may cherish deeply, andtowards whom we may feel a deep sense of emotional connection. Yet, at thesame time, we may also feel drawn by longing for freedom of sexual expressionin an environment where emotional connection is not important. In this setting,we experience a sense of danger and excitement that pervades the sexual experienceand fuels the flames of desire. Yet our mind will not allow this, and afterhaving such an experience (even only in fantasy), the accusing finger ofthe mind is pointed towards us and says ?shame on you!? Our environment has also much to do with our experience of the problem ofsex in later life. In simple terms, after creating a nest and filling itwith a surfeit of hard and soft furnishings (and needless to say a few children)we tend to loose our way. This is especially the case in the bedroom whereour experience of sensual pleasure becomes unfulfilling and sporadic witha long time between drinks. Excitement, fulfilment and sexual interest arelost in the unending ?to-do? list that our lives become. Why do the termsthat that we use to gauge the success of our lives like ?management?, ?control?,?efficiency? and ?effectiveness? seem so anti-erotic? There is a certain depressing inevitability about this progression into sucha later life malaise and our attempts at rebellion are often feeble and misguided.Are not our aspirations for executive bonuses or luxury cars and houses partof this rebellion? Might we be saying- if I can?t have this [a fulfillingsex life], then I might as well have that [the envy of my peers]. At leastthey might think I?m getting it because we all know what an aphrodisiac moneyis supposed to be!? Over time our views of sex and attitudes towards various activities and practiceschange driven largely by a need for novelty and variation. Our sexualityis evolving and creating a situation where our long-term partner is ableto remain fully in tune with our sexual needs is a challenge. We are certainlynot the same people who made the decision to enter into a long-term partnershipmany years ago when perhaps our sexual needs were more basic and urgent andwhen our sexual experiences seemed new and exciting. For middle aged people, not only has their sexual landscape changed but itcan remain ill- defined. Sometimes all we know is that we have deeper urgesand longings but we are unsure of how they might possibly be sated. Somehowthe answer to this question is so much more complex than regressing to apornographic phase where every orifice is fair game. You might also think that this is all solved through good loving communicationbut life is never this simple as demonstrated earlier. While opening up isimportant, it may not necessarily lead to a suitably willing partner ? heor she might never want to swing from the chandeliers.So while all of these difficulties and obstacles described previously mightseem overwhelming, there is an alternative to defeatism: we can resolve tochange our attitudes and outlook on life. To do this, I suggest that you turn to the ideas of people who have exploredthis theme before. One of the most important people in this regard is MarquisDe Sade who considered the pursuit of human pleasure the object of humanlife. He also thought that people had the capacity to extend their possibilitiesfor pleasure by wilful and intellectual effort. By observation it appears that our broader society has taken on the ideasof De Sade with gay abandon judging by the amount of sexually related materialthat is published especially in popular magazines and on the internet. Thesad reality however is quite different ? most have chosen lifestyles thatare positively against developing a pursuit of human pleasure which is agreat paradox. We choose other things and by default, choose not to havesex.So let?s be clear, problems in the bedroom are not easily overcome. It takesa great deal of effort, vulnerability, sacrifice and honesty. We have tounderstand how important sex is to us and what are prepared to loose to gaina deeper sense of fulfilment. How much wilful and intellectual effort arewe prepared to expend to achieve sexual fulfilment? How honest will we allowourselves to be about our sexual needs and are we prepared to gently communicatethem to our partner?Once we have decided to come to terms with the problem of sex in our ownlives and have resolved to overcome the communication obstacle, then thereis scope to explore techniques for deepening our capacity to experience andshare sensual pleasure. One such tool is the practise of Tantra since it encourages communication,asks you to share quality time with your partner and above all, promotesa deep sense of eroticism in the relationship. This is important because,like De Sade?s ideas, it places the expression of sexuality at the centreof our lives - where it belongs. Tantra silences the mind ? since in Tantra there are no problems to be solved.Tantra teaches us to exist in the moment and become highly aware of, andsensitive to, our own and our partner?s level of arousal. With Tantra, thebody does the talking and we move onto a new space of erotic possibility.So instead of living in a world where we feel burdened and cornered by theproblem of sex, the practise of Tantra can push the walls away and revealan expanded world of sensual possibility.
(If you have an interesting article you would like to share on Tantra or advertise your business in The Healing Page please contact Cathy [email protected])
Inspirational Spiritual Healer - Nicky Steadman Nicky has been an Inspirational Spiritual Healer for the past 10 years, specialising in clearing blocked energies, releasing unwanted issues, regaining the true-self and spiritual readings.With the help of her spiritual guides she can guide you to boost your self confidence, know your self worth and take back your own power to enrich the life your were truly meant to live. Each of us deserves to live the life we dream of, it is achievable if you allow yourself to believe. Contact Nicky on 0423 190 271 or [email protected] for more information