The truth about Tantra
Think of the practice of Tantra as a tree with many branches, the lower branches represent the sexual aspects of tantra, the middle branches love and the higher branches mental training to harness and control forces including the lower nature (which is personality).
The highest tantra is practiced by celibate monks, nuns and lamas, so naturally in its higher form tantra has nothing to do with sex. Then there are several grades of tantra all the way down to people, who include the sexual practices.
It's somewhat like mathematics, where you get introduced to numbers in first grade, arithmetic in second and third, then fractions, percentages, etcetera in higher primary school, and eventually algebra and calculus and trigonometry in high school. It goes all the way up to advanced theoretical mathematics used in quantum physics and dimensional abstractions, so the range of "maths" is actually enormous.
Tantric sex is like second-grade mathematics, all the way down at the beginning of the subject, but it's still tantra, just as second-grade addition and subtraction is still mathematics. It means that those who have studied it are not wrong, but perhaps may not even realise just how far tantra can really go to accelerate their healing process and evolution just as the second-grader is about what is possible with, for instance, theoretical mathematics in fourth-dimensional geometry.
So tantra is not ALL about sex, pleasure and orgasms, just like multiplication is included in the subject of maths, but isn't mathematics itself.
It is important to know that there is no right, wrong or judgement on the path of Tantra as everyone is exploring the different levels of branches on their tree, however we must learn to keep climbing.
As always, something to ponder on.
With love, Catherine