Relationship Counselling - The Sanctuary of Ananda
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A Tantric approach to Life Counselling and Relationship Harmony
Established in 2006

Couples Relationship Counselling/Session - Session 1

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‘Without knowing yourself, you can't really find love. Without having love, you will never find better sex’ - Shri Param Eswaran

Relationship and Marriage Counselling Incorporating Tantra and Sacred Sexuality 

This session focuses on the foundation teachings of Tantric practices and incorporates a holistic approach to relationships and sexuality. The art of sacred sex is a beautiful way to connect with your partner on all levels— spiritually, emotionally and physically—to build more intimacy and closeness into your relationship. Sex and euphoric orgasms are only one component to the teachings of Tantra: it encompasses, love, touch, pleasure, trust, closeness, nurturing, communication, giving and receiving—all the essential ingredients to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

What you will learn in this session:

History of Tantra

A brief outline is given of the origins and theory of Tantra and the spiritual concept of sacred sex. This session is the foundation to the practices of Tantra: practising without this knowledge is like going horse-riding without the horse! We explore the difference between red Tantra and white Tantra and the benefits that regular Tantric practice will bring into your life.

Meditation, Tantric Breathing and Grounding

Meditation guides us into a state of just being: learning to be in the moment with our partner with no outside thoughts. The Tantric breath helps us to stay focused in the moment and spreads sexual energy throughout the entire body, so that sex becomes making love, pleasure becomes ecstasy. If you imagine sex as energy (just like burning energy at the gym) and that during a sexually heightened state this energy swells around our sex centre (genital area), very much like the concept of a balloon filling with air. Eventually the ‘balloon’ will get bigger and bigger, then ‘burst’ and orgasm will be the outcome. Orgasm simply means we have reached our threshold of pleasure. In Tantric sex we learn to blow the balloon up half way and stay there; in other words to hold onto sexual energy for extended periods of time, immersing ourselves in a beautiful wave of continual pleasure. Often sex is like a roller coaster: it’s over before it starts. But imagine having the tools to make love (if you wanted to) for eight hours. Hindu teachings liken a man’s energy to fire and woman’s energy to water. Water tends to put fire out too quickly, leaving the man drained and the woman frustrated. The key in Tantric practice is for the man to bring the woman’s water to ‘steaming’ and keep her there. In this beautiful definition, lovemaking becomes a continual wave of ecstasy.

The art of communication/Giving and Receiving

Communication is a vital component to a healthy relationship. In this section we focus on the art of communication and expressing our inner sexual desire to our partner. More often than not, many couples hold back in expressing what they really want sexually—as well as emotionally—through fear, guilt, shame etc. Confidence, self-esteem and trust are the key elements in creating a foundation for open communication within our relationships.

The ‘Love Muscle’

The ‘love muscle’, also known as the pubococcygeus or ‘pc muscle’, is found in both sexes and stretches from the pubic bone in front to the coccyx (tail-bone), forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the internal organs. A well-developed pc muscle enhances sex and orgasms, strengthens erection control and extends lovemaking.

Extended Love-Making

Men will learn the art of extended love-making by moving sexual energy up into the heart centre. Extended love-making is a skill that enables a man to control ejaculation and last longer. According to Hindu teaching, when a man ejaculates often he will start to lose his energy. Thus Tantra also helps slow down the aging process. Also, by using the technique of extended love-making, a man is able to take his partner to each of the nine levels of orgasmic energy before she reaches her true Shakti (goddess) peak. Most women orgasm at level four and her partner orgasms somewhere in between her level one and four, so the majority of women never reach level nine. Therefore we also focus on women’s orgasms, explaining why women have two different types of orgasms and how their orgasmic energy empowers them.

Opening the heart centre

This section focuses on moving sexual energy into the heart centre so sex becomes making love. We explore the energetic components of why men and women are so different—opposite ends of the polarity—and what men and women really want. Sex is not only designed for pleasure but it is one of the greatest healing tools on the planet. Sexual energy heals, empowers, energises and pleasures. Combine all this with unconditional love and we find euphoria in every aspect of our lives.

Yab Yum

This section will focus on teaching you and your partner the famous ‘yab yum’ position and to start the learning process for holding onto sexual energy and moving it into the heart centre. The man sits crossed legged and the woman sits on top of him and wraps her legs around him. The main energy points of the body (Chakras) are aligned and it is a beautiful way to move sex energy through each other’s bodies. Please note: if you have any back, hip or knee problems this exercise can be easily done on a chair or changed to suit.

The Yoni and the Lingam

The ‘yoni’ is the Tantric terminology for vagina. Yoni means ‘the sacred place’; it is the gateway to a woman’s temple (her body). Hindu teaching is that the yoni is sacred, as all life passes through the yoni into this world. They used to carve yonis out of rocks and worship them. Today there are still carvings in temples throughout India relating to yoni worship. The ‘lingam’ is the Tantric terminology for penis and it means ‘wand of light’. The clitoris is called ‘The Jewel’, ‘Lotus Bud’ or ‘Jade Pearl’ and the ‘G-spot’ is called the ‘Sacred Spot’ and is also known as the ‘Hidden Jade Moon’. In this session we focus on techniques to pleasure both the yoni and the lingam.

Shiva and Shakti/Masculine - Feminine Energies

Shakti represents divine feminine goddess energy and Shiva represents divine male energy. In Tantric practices we learn to go beyond the physical flesh to the essence and spirit of the goddess and the Shiva. In Tantra the woman is not just a body that you make love to but she is in fact the essence of the Shakti energy. Goddess energy is not based on ego: it comes with healing and unconditional love. Likewise, when a woman makes love to her man, she is making love to the essence of Shiva and he represents every man in the Universe for her. Thus love-making becomes a deeper more emotional and spiritual connection. It is a fact that strangers can have sex, but to create an incredible bonding relationship incorporates more than just ‘stranger sex’. I believe that is what each and every one of us is searching for: the ultimate physical, emotional and spiritual connection with another human being. We want to go beyond what our minds have been indoctrinated to believe in as ‘normal sex’ to an experience another world, another time, another place—the ecstasy of SACRED SEX.


This is the time for warmth and companionship, for holding, being close to our lover. It is not for getting up and going off to watch television, or for falling asleep. Afterglow is for bathing in, recharging the energy, for holding and comforting, for re-establishing ourselves in that love, for getting our breath back so we are ready again to please our partner, for enjoying our partner’s satisfaction and contentment. Afterglow is for ‘glowing in afterwards.